The last time I felt like this was back in 2006. Somehow 2007 was pretty easy. I guess I had more hope–in myself, in others, in this place. Maybe I was just trying really hard and now I just feel cheated.
I’m skipping work. I feel real, but still worthless and horrible. When I go to work I feel depressed, anger, bitter, and destructive. I get ideas into my head like it might be a good thing to just crash my car into a wall or something. Just for the catharsis.
I told my mom I’m not working for them until I figure something out. I need to apply for medical assistance and go find psychiatric help. Two years and nothings changed.
If you’ve responded to any of these offering to go out for drinks with me and I haven’t gotten back to you, it’s not because I don’t appreciate it. Drinking and bitching won’t help. Let’s go out when I feel better!