I got sick a couple days ago, and I quickly stashed myself away in my apartment with cans of chicken soup, orange juice, ginger ale, tea and old law and order episodes. It’s not really working. I missed two days of work so far. I was supposed to start practices with a new drummer today. And I really wanted to go to the Bedlam to see Bouncer Fighter tonight. After I pay rent (which is late) I’ll have $5 in my bank account, and I spent all my cash on cough syrup and echinacea.
I’m not very healthy right now, which is why this cold is kicking my ass. I’m living on less than $1000 a month, which in theory, should cover everything if nothing goes wrong. But I’m running my health into the ground living on pizza slices and trying to force a social life. I’m running my car into the ground with my delivery job. I have a good amount of time and I’ve been pretty productive lately, but being productive isn’t everything. There’s no balance in my life. The times I’ve been healthy, I was uncreative. When I had a full-time job, I didn’t worry about money as much, but I was depressed and restless. Instead of living a balanced, well-rounded life, I jump between different states of unbalance. Right now I have just enough of what I want, and I’m sacrificing just a little of what I need, and as a result I can’t tell if I’m just digging the hole slowly or standing still.