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Hangovers and Work Days

December 27th, 2008

I’ve been going out a lot the last three weeks or so.  Overcompensating for the lure of hibernation.  Nervous energy.  Social prospects.   I’m getting my hangover control down to a science, I think.  The trick is to force yourself out of bed early, drink a tall glass of water, take one Tylenol, one Aspirin and a St. John’s Wort.  Then it’s back to bed for an hour, and then a sausage and egg breakfast with butter and juice and another glass of water.  St. John’s will work throughout the day to keep me from dragging.  On days that I work, I eat a couple slices of pizza and drink a big Gatorade.  And then there’s turning the radio up really loud and laughing about all the stuff that happened the night before, and everything that’s happening outside my car.

Last night I decided it would be funny to park my car in the street, facing traffic.  I got a police complaint on the hood, which looks like a ticket except you don’t have to pay anything.  Hilarious!

Afternoon is the new morning

October 24th, 2008

This blog is getting spammed up for real.  What the F.

My activities have dwindled.  I’m scatterbrained.  I’ve been meaning to get into the marketing process for the CD,  but I’m not really on right now.  I’ll get internet before the snow falls and get to work as a complete shut-in while I’m not sliding around on Minnesotan Ice with pizza.

Time flies when you’d rather sleep.  It’s weird to me now, when depression hits you at a time when everything’s going fine.  Reminds me of being in college.

Things and food in time and space

October 7th, 2008

I’ve been moving into my new space the last week or so.  A handful of copies of the new disc are out to press and stores, and I have yet to get the rest out.  I finally got to the point today where my recording stuff is set up and ready for when inspiration hits.  My project table is set up and ready for more CD assembly.  I just need to get the kitchen to where I can eat–a lesser priority.

Speaking of inspiration hitting–I’m quitting my night job, and probably my day job too, in favor of a full-time weekend job, delivering pizzas in Minneapolis.  I’ll have Mon-Wed all to myself to do whatever the fuck I feel like doing, which will most likely be recording, building guitars, and sleeping until 1 p.m.  Plus my commute time will go from a total of about 60 miles to about 3 miles.


September 14th, 2008

Last night I tore apart my apartment in preparation for my move next door.  I’m trying to separate the contents of various “junk boxes” so I know what I have, what I can keep, and what I should throw away.  Then I fried the electricity for my side of the third floor.  I was cleaning my oven, and I removed the heating element to clean under it, saw a pretty violent flash and all the power went out.  So now I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.  I can only stay at the Bad Waitress for so long drinking beer.

I came pretty close to quiting my pizza-driving job on Friday after meeting the district manager.  I feel like I’m reacquainted with my “real” self, complete with people putting me in my place and subjecting me to their ridiculous rules that supposedly keep their constructed fantasy worlds running.  I’m completely outside my own life, and while it’s nice for a while, it can’t last, because I don’t “get along” with the world.  I either play by their rules or my own (of course, subject to punishment if I choose the latter.)

Exits + Obstacles should be out soon, and hopefully it will change some of this.  Or maybe not.  Either way, I probably won’t be delivering pizzas much longer.

The Autumn

August 29th, 2008

It looks like I’ll be spending the fall working on houses in East St. Paul by day and delivering pizzas to the western suburbs by night.  Recording here and there, marketing Exits + Obstacles, getting through the winter and then going on a long trip in the spring.

I’m turning 30 on wednesday.  I’m taking the day off so I can sit at Caffetto and read “A Brief History of Time.”  Because what’s 30 years outside of anthropocentric time and space?  Basically nothing.

I’m selling my time

August 28th, 2008

With a huge spiderweb-crack in my windshield to serve a reminder that I need to stay calm, I’m working again.  A friend of mine knows someone who turns over real estate, so I’m on his crew fixing up a fourplex.  I’m looking for an easy night job to balance it out.  I have this crazy plan involving working a lot over the winter and then going on a long trip in the spring.  Of course this all depends on what I’m doing for work, but not working for my family is a good start.

In about a week I’ll be assembling the CDs.  I’ll be spending all my time scoring, folding, stapling, bagging, etc.  Serves me right for hating jewel cases.  You can stream the whole thing on iLike if you need to hear it before it hits stores October 1st.

These Kinds of Cliffs…

August 13th, 2008

The album is done.  I’m going to call in my approval on the master once I give it one more listen. I ordered the packaging and printing.  The website is updated.  There are new tracks up on Myspace.

I may or may not hold a CD release show.  This stuff is all really alot of work and I’ve been letting it completely consume me the last few years.  I’ll keep writing and recording even when it seems like no one gives a shit.  Playing live is a different story.  While I do enjoy it, it’s not the reason I make music.  When I was referring to my setlist to someone at the last show I played, I kept saying “tracks” when I really meant “songs.”

I also feel like I have alot of social issues right now.  Last year I was going through the same thing and I thought playing alot of shows would help.  Then at my next show, I played to an empty room.  Literally an empty room except for the sound guy.  If you’re not in your right mind, that kind of thing can break you down.

I want to do everything I can to promote this record because I feel like for once it’s worth promoting and it’s pretty representative of what I’m interested in musically and what I can do.  Everything else I’m going to lighten up on.  I may play shows here and there, but I’m not going to send out a ton of emails anymore just to get no response.  I’m going to build songs and recordings more slowly.  And I need to get a job that I can actually do and save up some money.  I need to do stuff for fun besides just going to Caffetto to work on my laptop.  I need to listen to music and not just make it.  And I need to do all of those things without feeling like I’m doing them because I’ve failed as an artist.

So, with that said, I have a show tonight.  So far it’s the only one on my calender.  So come down, it’s only $3.  It’s at the Terminal Bar on Hennepin Avenue just off University.

Holes in the Wall

August 4th, 2008

I walked off the job again today.  I showed up at 1:00 in the afternoon, and within 10 minutes of walking through the door I was frustrated to the point of punching the wall (being in pain, I discovered, can be a calming agent.)  I left at 2:30 after throwing crow bar into a wall.

The new CD release is on schedule.  I submitted an invoice for mastering today.  I made a few minor edits today and it’s probably done.  I made the insert art last night.  I’m looking forward to getting this done, not just to get it over with, but to see the project fully realized.  I feel like this is the kind of record I’ve been wanting to make for a long time, but haven’t been able to.  This is also why I’m having such a conflict with myself when I have to continue to subject myself to the same physical labor that I was burnt out from three years ago.

I’m pretty optimistic about this one, and I’d like to see it get out there.  But as I mentioned earlier, this kind of optimism hurts when it fails.

Bullet Points for this Evening’s Meeting with Life

July 24th, 2008
  • I’m unwilling to let go of myself for others and I’m also unwilling to let go of my need for the world outside myself. There’s a balance often struck, but every road I take to find it leads to me having to choose.
  • I used to look out at the city and see a vast sea of possibility. Tonight I looked off a highway footbridge and saw a vast wasteland of human potential, and I shouted “fucking trash city!” at the pavement, but no one was there to hear me.
  • There’s nothing keeping me here, but nothing forcing me to leave. My entire life is a default, and can be summed up with the phrase, “for lack of a better reason…” I’m in Minneapolis for the same reason why I’m alive: it’s what was granted me and I haven’t had the balls to change it.
  • I walked into an alley tonight, drifting towards the skyline, and I was confronted with a fence. Instead of walking all the way back, I chose to jump the fence. As the nearly empty flask of whiskey + vermouth in my back pocket could have predicted, it was not a good idea. Acrobatics aside, the bottle did not break and I left Stevens Square laughing.
  • I keep telling myself that I have a CD to finish, and when it’s done I can move on with my life. It’s the only thing keeping me going. The last time I had this much of myself riding on a creative project, it wasn’t pretty, and I topped off my 22nd birthday by collapsing in someone else’s yard in the pouring rain, convinced that I had just wasted 22 years. I’m really afraid that in September I might get to the point where I’m convinced that I just wasted 30.

Sleep Late, Call In, Mix

July 23rd, 2008

I took the day off today because, despite my attempts at getting to sleep before midnight (which didn’t work because my brain started probing the dark spots) I didn’t actually wake up until after noon. I have also been a little stressed out because I’ve taken so much time away from mixing while preparing for the zinefest, Milwaukee and live shows. So last night I wrote out my schedule for the next ten days. Today I mix one track. Tomorrow another. And so forth. Focusing on one track per day might take away some of the stress. Today I laid down a perfect three-part vocal that I’ve been struggling with for months. You never know when things are going to fall into place.

Speaking of Milwaukee, I posted two videos of my performance in a punk basement on MySpace TV.