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The Calm

September 5th, 2013
I’m waiting for the calm
I’m stepping in the weeds
I’m ready for the clouds to rain down on me
seeping in the ground
and running to the sea
making my peace and evaporating

we’re all touching a different world
at arms length but still so far away
shrouded in the dark of night
and washed out by the bright of the light of day

I’m waiting for the calm
I’m high up in the trees
I’m happy for the sun to bear down on me
the sky becomes a haze
the ground becomes a blaze
and I’m lost on my way back down again

we’re caught up in a different world
we’re not really who we think we are
shrouded in the dark of time
and washed out by the bright of the light in our eyes

The Walks

September 2nd, 2013

It might not sound like it, but this song is an experiment. I wanted to do two things. The first was write a song where the lyrics could function on a page as prose, with punctuation instead of line breaks, etc. The other thing was using a minimalist live drum kit consisting of a snare drum, hi-hat and ride cymbals (played with brushes) alongside a drum machine for just the kick sound. I taped pennies to the cymbals for some extra sizzle.

I wrote the lyrics quickly, thinking of the times I would take long walks around my neighborhood to escape my dysfunctional home life.

The rest of the night hangs in between the leaves that catch the streetlights, in between the darkened streets I take in my hand and let go, as I pass beneath a failure of stars, lit so fuzzed out by everything. I stay far apart from the feelings that sit beside me, calm and alert to the stress building under my feet. Over the lines that divide up the days I sift through one at a time, I can’t hide. Songs in the wind whisper uselessly, in one ear and out the other side with my stride, and get sucked behind me. Pass off my fear as a phase that will fade with these nights. Time turns to time turns to time.

Getting away with the way I’m feeling, so undefined, wrong or right, and no one else’s business. All of these years turn to just another story. Time turns to time turns to time.

Tuned to the Background

November 12th, 2012
it’s like it’s all there
floating somewhere
between the walls and the sea
waiting for me
you can’t look too far
there’s space between stars
no matter where you are
you can’t take it apart

patiently waiting
for more of the same
the effort it’s taking
fills up this space

the light hits my eyes
dark in between
the life I’m not seeing
means too much to me
so where can you go
I wish I could sit still
cut the distraction
from the space that I fill

gently pulsating
on a lost frequency
tuned to the background
is everything
we’re all complicating
what’s already there
there’s something I’m seeing

Original Demo:

In Progress Recording:

On a Road

October 30th, 2012
gone to set my sights
on a sliver of darkness and lines
of fading light
it’s gonna take all night
to make it anywhere that lets
the time pass by

the song still in our throats
of holding on so tight
time to let it go

the ground falls from my feet
one at a time to come crashing
back toward me
and I can’t see
I know what’s left of me
the same that was there before
without the fantasy

I let go of this road
reach out for never know
I come back and I go

Original Demo:

Recording Draft:

Comfort Zone

September 15th, 2012
it starts and then it stops
it never goes away
I’m eating up my time
I’ll make it up someday

they’re running up a wall
it’s crazy how they climb
I don’t understand at all
it’s funny how we fall

there’s nothing in the way
of what we’re trying to get to know
you get to someplace safe
and then you gotta go

but what if you just stayed
you can lie in bed all day
and fade into the night
and melt into the fade

there’s a party down the road
but I don’t know if I’ll go
heavy in the head
I can’t be held responsible

if I take up my slack
and get up off by back
I stop and then I take
everybody down with me

and why is the fire on fire when it feels so cold
this artifice slaps me on the face if I step outside my comfort zone

I wake up with the sun
beating down from up on high
I take the hours as they come
and feel like I’m just squeezing by

and sometimes I fight myself and it takes its toll
I pick myself up even though this is not what I signed up for

Summer Fuzz

July 24th, 2012
I don’t know the problem anymore
I could look forever and not see more than sky
you pick at your thoughts
and there’s always something bigger coming right up behind

down and out and about
separate the pressure from what keeps you alive
fuzz me out
nowhere to go, no time to arrive

the summer sun sets in
and no matter what it’s always too high in the sky
if you’re coming around, I’ll wait around

Follow Apart

June 28th, 2010

I haven’t posted song lyrics in a long time. Music has been coming to me at a glacial pace, leading out of the little solo project I’ve been running for way too long now. Fourtrack sketches stay on the brain, getting transfered via USB so many times I get crazy, until I write lyrics with a flour encrusted pen and sing them in the car, into the fourtrack halfway to a pizza delivery somewhere in the 40s on Grand. I have plans, but if you’re actually reading this, you must have some indication of what happens to my “plans,” so I’ll shut up about them for now.

The song is about how much it sucks to be introverted.

sometimes, I feel OK despite
my eyes bent towards the inside
I’m falling towards you in a mess
fighting the ground, flesh and the sky
you can’t see me underneath
what am I trying to find?

something somewhere I can’t see
follow this apart from me

I’ll find myself between
the failure and the sun
I’ll meet you in the middle
I’ll make that place my home
sign my heart over to me
I’m fading in and I’m fading out
I want my life to fill the screen
and to lose myself out loud

Don’t want to lose myself in
silence, somewhere far away
choking, slowly becoming
someone I don’t want to be
follow this apart from me


September 13th, 2009
sad life awaits
in the corners of the crowds
everybody knows they’re gonna be alone
deep down

cover up myself
with the road in my head
but I know it’s no longer who I am
this time

I’ll look up
if you look up
we don’t need to stay here anymore
I need you more
than I’ve ever known myself
so come on…

dance with me
in a sidewalk street
talk to me like a human being

Untitled July 21, 2009

July 25th, 2009

Final Title: Groundless/Flightless

We hang up in the air
over everything down here
I won’t settle
I won’t stretch
I won’t argue

with the city on my side
and the rest of it in time
it’s enough just to keep my mind
above the surface

cast a room above your head
filled with people from your dreams
set it up and live inside
baby, close your eyes
cause you don’t belong here
you don’t want what they’ll sell you
but you’ve got to nothing to fear
and you can’t rest unless they do
cause when you got nothing to lose

separated from the sky
but still not fit for the ground
if what destroys keeps us around
can you still keep from looking down?

Original Demo:

Recording in progress:

Untitled July 13, 2009

July 17th, 2009

Final Title: Can of Worms
A little more about this YouTube project: I always do “sketches” in the early stages of songwriting. I used to hum and form melodies on a little tape recorder, then write the song later. Some songs were purely constructed in a notebook. For almost everything I’ve done in the past year, I would record the “sketch” directly onto the computer and then build the final track on top of it. I always forget about the raw character of the song in each of those methods, so recently I’ve been making quick videos of new songs instead. I work a little harder to get it working as a song, but don’t really worry about the production. Unfinished things can be beautiful in their own way. There’s sort of this uninhibited mixture of mining from my life and gratuitous fictionalizing going on in these songs, which can be tricky territory. A good song should feel like a friend telling you something, but a good songwriter shouldn’t treat songwriting as a substitution for talking to a friend. It’s weird because on the one hand, you need distance from your work to ensure that you’re expressing something universal, and on the other hand it needs to be close to your heart so you know it’s real.

So as far as these sketches go, I guess there’s a lot of sadness in my heart. I admit that. But I’m trying to leave the details of these stories open to your own interpretation. These aren’t my stories. Ideally they’re a collage of everything I’ve ever touched, and I like to believe that I share those things with the rest of you humans breathing the same air as me. Go figure I feel the need to explain so much when I actually decide to use the word “love” in a song!

Final Title: Can of Worms

take apart my love
and everything I tried hide it wrapped in time
I’m sick of all this stuff
it’s hard to feel alive, this time
even though I survived
the darker stuff I want it back again
set aside my faults
to diverge in a glacial unwind
it seems I’m badly designed
my heart’s a spark in the twisted sky

you keep it all inside
and find it hard to hide
you got the means to cut
the ties from what you find
you won’t be coming back
until these days run dry
until these days run dry
away from your eyes
so shy away from the times you lied
and even still you’ll be lost inside
I’m not about to look up
I’m not about to look side to side

take apart my head life
kill the light inside
forget what I said
loneliness is the logical end
open up this mess
I’ll see you when it’s all better described
I can’t won’t pretend I’m just fine
but that’s ok cause goes to show that this life’s not mine

Original Demo

Final track from “Between the Walls and the Sea”