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Uneasy Ground

November 30th, 2008

A little stream-of-consciousness song.

I’ll just enjoy
time in the void
washed up in sound
uneasy ground

solemnly swear
we aren’t here
grab what you know
ease undertow

won’t you come down
on easy ground
trust my expanse
stranded by chance

I was alone
they tried, I don’t know…
to hide us away
hide us away

Because Random Bullets are Easier than Concise Statements

November 29th, 2008
  • When I was younger, every time I would go through something painful, instead of crying, I would bottle it up.  Now I just get angry.
  • Fantasies have a purpose.  They breathe life into reality.  Just don’t trust them on their own.
  • How many love songs have been inspired by relationships that failed?  Does it matter?
  • There’s a biological reason why, if you have a lot of things on your mind, you find it difficult to sleep.  Your body assumes you may have to defend yourself from a stray tiger.  But what if the tiger is you?  Does your boss really care?

Morning for Two

November 27th, 2008

you had me right in between
the morning light and a dream
that broke like a wave through the blinds
back where I belong

and the half-mess around the room, scattered
like the hours we stumble on to get around

you wave your hand through the air
playing with your hair in a mirror
space around us is clear
time is on the other side

in the morning you fall into yourself
it’s the perfect place to stay with someone else

pour the coffee into
a passing moment for two
shadows chasing the clock
hold my hand and it’ll stop

what we can’t dream or set aside will fade
but I’m taking you with me into the day

A New Workspace

November 25th, 2008


I’m still planning on building the guitars I’ve designed–slowly.  Today I hung lights in the basement of a friend’s house.

I was going to post the plans I drew up, but then progress ceased.  Anyway, above is my eventually-to-be-cluttered workbench.

Rift Magazine Review

November 23rd, 2008

Below is a link to Rift Magazine’s review of Exits + Obstacles by Nelson Heise.  Check it out:

Also, the Current played “Dark” on tonight’s local show!  Not that I need to blog every time a track gets airplay, but this was the first time I heard my own song on the airwaves while listening to the radio.  I was delivering a pizza in Elliot Park and forgot where I was going!

Exits + Obstacles

November 19th, 2008

The new CD has been out for a while now, and I feel like I did everything I was supposed to, or could, do to get the word out.  Songs from it were played on KFAI and the Current, which is great.  Aside from that, so far there have been no reviews or sales, besides one copy I sold in Madison and one to a friend.  I don’t have any upcoming shows.  No one is biting.

I just signed up for consultation at Springboard for the Arts.  It’s time to figure out how this shit works.  Then again, the economy doesn’t exactly help.

Central Wisconsin

November 15th, 2008

Yet another song about reluctantly returning home from a trip, when you start to realize that you wouldn’t leave much behind if you just went the other way.

up in the blue sky
between patches of white
my body on concrete
I’m passing through discrete time
to lay my mind
down, here on the ground

of central wisconsin
plans are escaping
between cities and signs
and the numbers of space between
here and there
or anywhere at all

out on the horizon
my destination
my stomach is in knots
guess it’ll take some time
and I don’t know what
I’m coming home to

is it just myself,
or something else
that I can’t see
swallowing me?

Where We’re Going

November 11th, 2008

It continues.  I’m writing and recording enough to start posting new lyrics.

Where you taking me tonight?
restless shadows at the sides
help this dream for what we find
long across the setting sky

I stood at the edge of my
world marked with a dotted line
my heart is pounding in my chest
reminding me that I’m alive

Chicago Pics

November 6th, 2008

In the middle of August, I abruptly quit my job working for my dad, and after a night spent beating myself up, I ordered a ticket for the Megabus and went to Chicago so I didn’t have to think about my life for a while. Here’s what I saw:

CageServiceL TracksMy sandwiches, spirits and music.OpenClosedFire EscapeBalloon GraffitiL TracksFire EscapeFree PeeAvenge me!ShadowsRatsFire EscapeFire EscapeFire EscapeAction

This is fun…

November 5th, 2008

I’ve been wondering how to go about this post for the past week or so, because it’s not the typical depressing bullshit, plans or mental-detritus.  At some point in the past year or so, I realized that it’s time to stop trying so hard and just live my life.  I knew that when you force something, it breaks.  But keeping open doors can lead to more fruitful things.  Recording “Exits + Obstacles” was one last stab at pushing myself and making myself do something.  The subsequent depressive rampage that found me almost taking a random plane to anywhere at one in the morning (the airport was essentially closed) confirmed my theories about what that can do for your mental health.  It was alot of work to get through that stage, but I have to say I’m really happy with the outcome.

I recently started seeing someone, and that’s the part I was uncertain how to blog about.  I’m used to being by myself.  It’s led to some great things–things that I’m proud of and that without which, I wouldn’t be me.  I’m not the kind of person who is always with somebody just to be with somebody, so when it happens its pretty great.  It can also be really stressful.  Wikipedia’s article on love lists side effects “similar to amphetamines,” including “increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep.”  On top of that, I have a new apartment and a new job, as well as my typical shaky financial situation.

A couple years ago, after I filed bankruptcy and got rid of my studio, I was confronted with what was left of my life, my mind centering on one thought: that there was nothing I was connected to that I cared to hold on to.  I had reduced myself to only those things I was indifferent to.  I feel the complete opposite now.  I’m surrounding myself with things I care about.  I’ve never felt this comfortable with a job, home or another person.  I’m writing songs, and things are coming out really easily and I’m not worrying about when the next CD is going to be done.  (It’s going to take enough time to try and sell 1000 copies of “Exits”)

When things were going really bad, I could see depression in flux with my life, adding fuel to the fire. In college, I remember depression would simply cause a bit of reflective sadness, which I enjoyed. It’s only when my life is spiraling downward that it becomes a problem, making me lose sight of how to take control.  I say this because I know sadness will hit after the high is over, and that’s OK.  But I feel like all the hanging on is paying off right now.  After I flipped out and went to Chicago, my goal was to get a job that I could tolerate and try to be social.  It seemed like such a hurdle at the time, despite it being such a simple goal.  But it worked, and I couldn’t be happier.